#23 Physical Triggers - How a Symptom Mirrors an Emotional Wound

This episode demonstrates how physical symptoms reflect emotional wounds.
 When we start to explore a symptom deeply, it will lead us right back into the emotion and then to the original source - The Root Cause

Triggers, whether emotional or physical, are always from the past.
Notice the words the speaker uses about her unusual symptom and how they reflect her TRUE self.

Check out The Root Cause Practice Program  if you're inspired to learn more about the emotions behind physical conditions.
There is lots and lots of information on my Instagram feed, or my website:  https://www.traceystevens.org

Please do let me know your thoughts and feedback.
Tracey x

To explore more of my work, you can find me here:

 Instagram @thehealingpoint._ 

YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/@thehealingpointuk
Or my website www.traceystevens.org

There you’ll find courses, workshops and resources exploring the relationship between the body, the mind, our emotional patterns and the deeper awareness that allows us to create change.

You can also explore From Symptom to Inner Wisdom, my 21-part audio course on understanding the deeper patterns behind symptoms and learning to become the observer of the mind.

Explore From Symptom to Inner Wisdom

If you have a question you’d like to explore with me on the podcast, I’d love to hear from you. You can email me at info@traceystevens.org 

With Love
Tracey x

Credits: This podcast is edited by Rhiannon Walsh @AlignedElementsAcupuncture
Music licensed from www.purple-planet.com

Transcript

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Tracey  
Welcome. My name is Tracey Stevens, and this is the healing point podcast.

Tracey  
So thanks for joining me today. It's really great to have you here. What would you like to explore today?

Unknown Speaker  
I've been having this feeling lately, that my tongue is not really sitting comfortably inside my mouth. And I feel like my teeth are annoying it and it's like, it's just not feeling okay. Like, I know that the way like the tongue sits in our mouth is usually subconscious. But it has become so conscious for me. And I tried exploring, like, what, what the reason for that might be, but I can't really bring anything into late. So is this?

Tracey  
Is this the first time this has happened for you then? in it? And so? When did it when did it actually start? Or when did you first notice this?

Unknown Speaker  
around a week ago. I was about to fall asleep. And then I felt like my teeth are just like going into my tongue. It's not necessarily biting, but they're making my tongue really uncomfortable. And I had trouble like falling asleep

Tracey  
that night. So how would you describe the feeling in your tongue,

Unknown Speaker  
that it's too big, and have too big to be inside my mouth. And it kinda I have a feeling that it grew to the point that it wants to like, come out of my lane. The boundary of teeth, like you know, just wants to break out of my mouth.

Tracey  
Oh, there's some really interesting words there, isn't there? So? Yeah. I mean, it's true that your tongue can swell. In Chinese medicine, we use the tongue as a diagnostic tool. And sometimes, you know, the tongue can be more swollen at times, and others so. But it's interesting the words that you're using about, it's almost like he wants to break the barriers of your mouth.

Unknown Speaker  
I was thinking of like, what could it be that I really want to say out loud? Do you know but I can't. I can't find anything there.

Tracey  
Okay. And so I'm just wondering, I don't know in the last in that week leading up to this, you're noticing this about your tongue? What's been going on in your life? What's what's, you know, what are you doing? What's what's, how are you spending your days, what's been happening,

Unknown Speaker  
most of my days are structured in a way that I wake up, and I do schoolwork, up until my shift starts at work. And then I would go to work and my days at work are usually really hectic emotionally, because of the environment of work. I have like 15 kids that I'm like, supposed to be taking care of. So I'm just all over the place. And most of the time, kids are actually emotional, like, you know, they're their balls of emotion. So tending to their needs, like, it gets really hectic, and then I would come home, if I'm really tired. I just snap for a little bit. And if I'm not I spend time with my family or go back to doing like schoolwork. We're okay. And I'm in a long distance relationship. So I make sure that like, we're talking or FaceTiming or we're texting.

Tracey  
Okay, so there's a lot of communication in your day. A lot. Okay. And so just thinking back to a week ago, I'm just wondering if there was anything in that happened in your world in your communicating world that might have been upsetting or triggering or something that stands out for you?

Unknown Speaker  
Actually, yes. So we have this child we have this child at the place that our work and she's very high behaviour. She's very defensive and violent and aggressive. So what happened was usually I'm good at taking care of situations but what happened was she started screaming at me we were alone with her and the park like with other kids and she started screaming at me in front of other kids that oh, you should be fired. You should. Your Is this what you do when other like your supervisor or other educators or not? up around and I wasn't doing anything, you know, I was just standing there. And she was like, yeah, they should fire you. I'm going to talk to them. So you get fired. And then I just I was so taken aback like I was like, and it triggered me. That's the thing. Like, it triggered me I wasn't an adult at that situation. I was just, I felt so attacked. And when I came to tell my supervisor, she was like, we don't have to talk about it right now. And she kind of like, shut me down, even though like I continued making my point. I didn't listen to her. But she didn't Yeah, she didn't really listen to me. And that situation repeated itself, like 15 minutes later, even after I have told my supervisor, and the girl came again, and she started screaming again, that Oh, like, you shouldn't be sitting right now should be playing with the kids. I'm gonna get them to fire you. And all that. Yeah. And then I actually it triggered me to a point that I wanted to start crying like I wanted to let that emotion out because I can't do anything to her like, She's a child, or he is being defensive, or whatever is going on for her and I can't react to her out of emotion, I have to react as an adult. That's my job. So I just let another educator take my place. And I left for about like, 15 minutes, and I cried really hard. And what one would think that okay, like, that's just the child and like, it shouldn't be. So that's the nature of your job. But no, like that day, it was very, very tiring for me. And the fact that my supervisor didn't really listen to me, it was really bad.

Tracey  
So is that the first time in your life that you felt like you weren't listened to?

Unknown Speaker  
Not necessarily the first, but I? Yeah. From an outsider. Yes. Like, usually family like, you know, your parents. I have worked through that. Yeah. And they now like, I have established my boundaries, and they respected and they make sure they listen to my opinion on what I have to say. And they respect my life's life choices. But from an outsider, yes. I felt like it was the first time someone's shutting me down like that. Yeah.

Tracey  
All credit to you. Because you, you know, you've been doing the work as I, as I know, you have from from those past wounds. But so I suppose I'm just offering up this idea that actually, even though you've doing the work, it doesn't mean that that that wound inside of you is completely healed. And it sounds like that was reactivated, that they're not listening to me.

Unknown Speaker  
Yeah. It might have been restore surface at that moment.

Tracey  
And all that's doing is just showing you that there's still something there. That's this active and is emotionally charged.

Unknown Speaker  
Yeah, that my opinion doesn't matter. Or what has happened to me doesn't matter. Yeah,

Tracey  
exactly. Exactly. And so what happened in the time following that, so all that all happened? And then at some point, you went home? And did you tell people about it? Or

Unknown Speaker  
I actually told my supervisor, I was like, I don't appreciate like, what happened, you know, like, I'm not. And again, she tried shutting me down. She's like, Yeah, well, you you were warned when you were taking the job that this was the nature of the job. And, and I was like, Well, I'm not complaining, like, I'm not complaining that like, I'm not telling you, I want to quit my job. I'm just telling you that this should be taken care of, even though like we're here to take care of these children, they should be held responsible for the way they act, right. Especially a nine year old. Like, she's like, I feel like she can't understand if you tell her that what you have done is wrong. And she was like, yeah, like, you know, she was she was dismissive. And her response. She was like, Yeah, well, these kids are traumatised. And, and like, it basically said that you should take like, you know, like, just just on like, it doesn't matter. Like what happened and, um, and I think it hurts me a lot because I don't have anyone else to go to like, she's the she's the supervisor, and I can't I can't go to anyone else and tell them what happened. And she was like, I'll talk to the girls parent. And I'm like, it has nothing to do with a parent. You know, I don't want the parent to to discipline the child or anything like that. But I want the child to understand that hey, like, this is not the way we deal with our emotions. Like there's a nicer way of letting gets out. Because the girl has shown like so much progress during the time I've been working. And

Tracey  
now as you're talking about it, what what emotion is still sitting within you about this situation?

Unknown Speaker  
I think that emotion is that, um, I feel uncomfortable with my supervisor not trusting me. Because I realised after that incident, I realised that even though she says, Hey, guys, like, you know, I trust you with what you do, like, I carry the responsibility for 15 children, and she's just my supervisor. So if any incident happens, I go back to her, but other than that, I'm responsible for them. Um, The annoying thing is, even if she says, like, Hey, I trust you, she doesn't necessarily trust. You know what I mean? She, I, um, she would tell me like, I would make a decision. And then she would make sure she comments on it, even though she says I trust you. Like, she would come back to be like, oh, you should have done it this way. Should have done it that way. But if you trust someone, you should trust the way that they do things.

Tracey  
What is it that's really annoying you about that? If you can just go a little bit deeper? Sorry, what did you say? pinpoint it? Yeah. So just going a little bit deeper. Because what I hear is, I hear that you're feeling unsupported. Yeah. I, I hear that you're not being listened to. And I hear that, you know, that you've you've got ideas about things that should be different. Yeah. But you also said that you were hurt. And so I'm just wondering, what it is that the and I'm just wondering if there's a deeper layer just even still, about why that is so upsetting to you.

Unknown Speaker  
I think you can relate this to my relationship with my parents. Um, I think in a way they do trust me, but they trust me to do things in their own way, like in their understanding of life. So like, yeah, we trust you, but like, we don't trust you to make mistakes or to go like, you know, to go do things your own way? Or to have a mind of your own basically.

Unknown Speaker  
Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  
So I think I think trust shouldn't be conditional. Like, if you trust someone, you just trust them with the way that they are in I think that's what it's like, my supervisor is actually triggering in me that that the thing that I trust you but on my own terms,

Tracey  
so a repeating pattern in your life, then? Yeah, I trust you, as long as you do the things that I tell you to do in the way that I'm telling you to do them.

Unknown Speaker  
I trust you as long as like you don't do something that's going to upset me. Yes. Yes. So it's still conditional. Yeah, it is. And I don't think like parents should have like, conditional trust in their children. No.

Tracey  
Um, so you're feeling the impact of that. conditionality of their love. Yeah, as well. And that is really interesting to me as well, because the tongue is connected to the heart. In Chinese medicine, they say the heart opens into the tongue. Like the truth of who you are, your real essence in life is, is being communicated through the words that you speak. And in some ways, this feels like the truth of you is being barred. Yeah, like its cage. Because I sense that you have a really big energy about you. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  
I do. And I'm just starting to learn how to work with I know how to be myself.

Tracey  
So just to sort of round it off, because it's, it's probably becoming obvious to you, though, about this, where that where this big Tang is coming from, with being held in what would that day have looked like? If there was, if there was no triggering moment? Not that not that that child behaved in? Yeah, in a different way. But, but for you, it didn't trigger you. Can you imagine what that would have looked like?

Unknown Speaker  
Well, I would have definitely been a lot calmer, and I would have found a better time to talk to my supervisor. And, um, it wouldn't have been such a big deal. You know, I wouldn't have been still thinking about it like a week after I would have printed It's like, Yeah, okay. It's something that happened. But it's something that triggered so much and anxiety and means that. Yeah, so I think I would have been a lot calmer and I would have dealt with the situation as an adult and not like, you know, my inner child wouldn't be all over the place, you're gonna get tantrum about it being like, you don't love me. You don't love me unconditionally?

Tracey  
Yeah, exactly. So now you're just seeing so you're seeing that part of yourself in the adult role role? This this younger part of yourself? Completely taking control of your nervous system in that? Yeah, in that place. Yeah. She's still live in you. Yeah. So she's, she's needing you to love her unconditionally?

Unknown Speaker  
Yeah. trust her.

Tracey  
Yeah. It's like, bringing that truth of unconditional love right into yourself. It does. So being

Unknown Speaker  
I read a quote, actually, I'm not sure if you're the one that posted it. It said that I'm the one that saves you is your healed self. Like the person that saves your inner child is your healed self, and not someone from outside of it. So I guess like, It's me that has to go back and love and trust this child unconditionally?

Tracey  
Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And it sounds hard. But there are ways and means of doing that. And one of them could be being grateful to the trigger. Because that has just lit a part of you up that is still asking for some help. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  
it was a reflection. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Tracey  
And it's interesting, the children that you're working with, because they will be mirroring parts of you. They are

Unknown Speaker  
the first week I went to work. I was like, it's like, so on splitscreen to 15 pieces. And then they are like, I can see a child who was like having disordered eating behaviours, you know, and that's something I have within me. I see a child that's like, impatient, which is also like a part of me, like, you know, I see all these like, beautiful parts and like, the issues like I see all of them, like looking at me, and I'm like, Oh, my god.

Tracey  
It's so interesting. Isn't that one part of you was just lit up that day is like, Okay, this is the bit. Yeah. And do you notice the reflection of being attacked? And then projecting out on someone else? Be yourself, you know, in essence, you attacking?

Unknown Speaker  
Yeah, I do see that. I think that's actually that's something I see a lot and my children like, and the children that I work with, like, a lot of children, like no child likes to be angry, and they don't like attacking and they don't like being too aggressive. It's just a defence mechanism. Yes. Like, have someone bigger trying to force you're trying to trying to make you feel bad about something. So a lot of them react out of out of like defence?

Tracey  
Yes. Yes. They will perceive somebody as as being aggressive some time. Yeah. So what would it be like to walk into work with a completely balanced and harmonious nervous system?

Unknown Speaker  
I think it would be. It would be doing my own thing without waiting for validation from my supervisor that Oh, you did great. Or, like, you know, it would be working independent of her opinion. Yes.

Tracey  
And it would also be recognising and all those children when they're projecting out at you. Yeah, I'm so hurt place of themselves without it really being absorbed into your heart. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  
Usually that's the case like most of the time, because this is the only case that made me think you know, made me cry or triggered me so bad. But other than that I usually deal with so like so calmly. That's why this incident really like stuck in my head that hey, like, something is not right here.

Tracey  
I just feel like this has been a really helpful conversation not just for you, but for people listening as well to understand how the triggers come up in our lives.

Unknown Speaker  
Yeah. They can come up anywhere like family's not the only pattern that shows us there's something that needs to heal like our friends. In our workplace,

Tracey  
and you absolutely it can happen at any time when a wound is ready to be healed, then the trigger may arrive in someone's life very unexpectedly and in all sorts of different ways. I'm just curious now to reflect back on the, onto your tongue in your mouth, just just to be mindful of, you know, whether there's anything happening there or whether it feels different.

Unknown Speaker  
It feels it doesn't feel smaller, but it feels more comfortable. I don't know how to explain that. It kind of feels like it's okay that it's swollen. Like, you know, I feel like I don't feel like it's my teeth are biting into it or, or like, it wants to break out. No, it's fine being in its place being big. It's, it's okay that way.

Tracey  
Yeah, yeah. Okay, brilliant. And it would just be interesting to see for yourself how that changes over the next few days.

Unknown Speaker  
I'll let you know.

Tracey  
Okay, thank you so much.

Unknown Speaker  
Me Time.

Tracey  
Really appreciate it. What a lovely conversation, your words. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this, you'll find a lot more content on my Instagram account at the healing point dot underscore. If you have a question you'd like to explore and are willing to take part in. You'll find all the information you need on my website.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai